Thứ Tư, 28 tháng 10, 2009
the people who you admire
I felt very happy because of my sweet family(4).I have parents and younger brother(1),who are very love me(4).Anh I love them,too(1)And the most special is my mom(5).She is a traditional women with a long black hair,ovel face,thin lips and beautiful eyes.(5)Although,she is pretty(5),time and poor have stolen her mother's beauty(1).Some people say:she seems skinny and sweet.But my mom,who is very kind,perfectdone,clever,is very strong so that she can fight and can win every problems in her life to protect her loves(5).So I am very admire her (4)but I can't do what she does such as:I can't cook as well as her and I can't be pantient like her(1).And the best thing which made me admire her is the seven passions(1).When I and my brother have problems(1),which we can't do ourselve(1),she appear as same as a savior with good advises(1),which are very necessary with our life(4).Now,I'm far from home so that I miss my family so much(4).And want to say with them(1):I love you so much(1),and say with every body(1):Let's love your family more and more,special with your mother.
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hi Thao!if you are more wary,your essay will be perfect!i take the liberty to correct your small mistakes.forgive me if i'm wrong.
Trả lờiXóa-"I felt very happy because of my sweet family.I have parents and younger brother,who are very love me" : "i feel....,who love me a lot."
-"Anh I love them,too(1)Anh the most special is my mom" : "and i love them so much, especially my mother"
-"her mother's beauty" : i think just "her beauty" only.
-"she appear as same as a savior with good advises(1),which are very necessary with our life" : "appears","as same as"???,is it correct?it sounds weird."necessary for".
-"And want to say with them(1):I love you so much(1),and say with every body(1):Let's love your family more and more,special with your mother."!i could hardly understand this sentence.i think you should say:" and i want to tell them that i love them so much.through that,i want to tall you that you have to love your...,especially your mother".
that's all i want to share with you!thank you!bless you.
about your title, i think it must be "The person whom you admire", 'cause you admire your mother, not your family!
Trả lờiXóa"I have parents and younger brother(1),who are very love me" ~> "are" and "love" are verbs, so they can not stay together.
"Although,she is pretty(5),time and poor have stolen her mother's beauty" ~> sorry, she is your mother, so it should be "my mother", not "her mother".
"So I am very admire her" ~> "admire" and "am" are verbs too.
Try your best :)